South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
