Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Please don't give away my fajitas
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