i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
no more duck duck goose at the bar
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
