Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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