Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Took her home last night and it was like trying to put an oyster in a slot machine. I may have drank a little too much.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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