I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
