i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
