I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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