Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
saw a family tailgating a graduation with hard liquor... i'm assuming yours?
are you shitting me? they told me they'd at least wait until 10am
Randomize
