thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
Either you got hacked or we need to have a serious discussion about sending penis enlargement emails to your straight friends and why you shouldn't. It sends the wrong message.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
