Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Last night I ate parmesan cheese straight out of the container while watching Chelsea Lately. Look at what happens to me when you leave.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
