You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
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