I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
I just got breakfast in bed and he went down on me. And you though he was a bad idea. Shame
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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