Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Randomize