We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
There better be alcohol at this child's birthday party. Seriously not trying to be entertained by a clown while I'm still sober.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
