so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
That moment half way through a run when you realize you have to take a giant shit. I was racing against my bowels that last mile. Now my sweat is suctioning my ass to this toilet seat. Enjoy that NSA.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
On a scale from 1-10 how fucked up would it be to buy weed with my fafsa money?
It's a study aid
Randomize