i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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