im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Randomize
