how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
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