I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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