how hairy? two words: wookie tits
if only i could text you this smell
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
