So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
