just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
