This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
a search helicopter?!
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
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