Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
Lady came into work yesterday. Full on stache and beard. I've never concentrated on making eye contact harder in my life.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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