Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize