hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
accomplished twins. life is a go
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
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