Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
You can't just leave with hair like that
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Randomize
