am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
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