ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
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