you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
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