This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
