you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
