Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
My potted cactus died. I am literally less nurturing than the desert.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Randomize
