The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
