She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
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