So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
"But puppies!" Is not an acceptable excuse for trying to drunkenly steal someone's dog, you promiscuous midget!!
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
you never un-have a 4some
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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