pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize