Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Randomize
