Quick, to the slutcave!
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
how drunk are you?
Several
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
