Plan B is the new Plan A
singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
He can sense you did cocaine and had park sex with a large ginger from Australia last night.
Randomize
