I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
