i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Election Day 2016 shall forever live in infamy as the day when I hobbled through my neighborhood, mascara melting down my face, wearing one slipper and a cast, blood and cum all over my skirt, carrying a box of wine, and no one even noticed.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
