just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
it was like eating out sand paper
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
God, I missed his penis.
Randomize
