How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
nutella sex= disaster
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I caught them hiding behind a car trying to have sex.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
