Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
