is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize