My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I need help removing her.
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
My vagina is officially offended.
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Randomize
