she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
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