will power is for people who don't want to get laid
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Randomize
