i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
this just has baby written all over it
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
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