very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
it's finals week and we've been blasting country porch drinkin since 10AM. there's been like 4 tweets about hearin us on the other side of campus
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
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