that was the first time i tried it. why is it all sticky? its like somebody threw a glue bottle at my face.
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
