mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
