you mean i was at the winter classic?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
