i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
So much rum. So many feels.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Is there a coat check? I stole 10 vases of flowers along with two bottles of champagne and I'm not sure what to do with them.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
