office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Sweet and genuine is kinda lame. I'm more of a bust all over your face and hair kinda guy.
Uhm the hair is off limits bro, conditioner can only go so far.
Bro? You just made it a target.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
so "excuse the stench" wasn't the correct thing to say when your boyfriend's parents walk in on you shitting. Live and learn
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
