Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
