did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
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