If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
He just texted me a video of him jerking off. He must really be looking forward to the Super Bowl.
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
I am downtown smoking a joint with Woody Harrelson...Because our car won't start. I will be there as soon as I can.
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