I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
