so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize