Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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