fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
