"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
