I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
