I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
