my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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