I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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