I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Don't know how I even got in. I pulled my id out and threw it at the bouncer, and he just picked it up, checked it, and let me in.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
