It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
