So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
