Where did you get a picture of my penis
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
So changing channels while she's on top is frowned upon. It's back to thinking about baseball again.
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
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