So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize