he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Randomize
